The Shift Doctors (Tracy Latz, M.D. & Marion Ross, Ph.D.) are thrilled to have our friend and colleague Cal Garrison share her wisdom on metaphysical topics. Cal is a practicing astrologer with 40 years of experience. At present she goes between casting horoscopes, writing books, and working as the personal assistant to Drunvalo and Claudette Melchizedek. Editor in Chief at Drunvalo’s online magazine, ‘The Spirit of Ma’at’, Cal is also a syndicated columnist for the Associated Press. An author with five books to her credit, and another one on the way, Ms. Garrison is well known for her affiliation with the late Slim Spurling. Out of love for her mentor she continues to support his research with her dowsing, through her articles, and as the spokesperson for Slim’s tools at all of Drunvalo’s workshops. A single mother with three grown daughters, Cal lives happily in the Red Rocks of Sedona, Arizona. Find out more about Cal and read some of her other metaphysical articles at www.spiritofmaat.com
‘Who Wrote the Book of Love?’ by Cal Garrison
A few months ago, I wrote an article that stirred up a little trouble with the powers that be. The details around all of this would be of interest to you I am sure; unfortunately talking about it would only stir up more trouble. The reason I bother to bring it up is because the experience taught me a good lesson in what happens when you tell the truth.
At this point I am wondering if it’s worth it to be so dedicated to the thought that knowledge is power – or that the pen is mightier than the sword – because it seems as if the pen is only mightier until the sword cuts off the hand you write with. And what I have learned from this is that anyone who justifies their existence by writing for a living has to find a way to tell the truth without pissing people off.
I am not sure it’s even possible – but let’s give it a whirl and see if we can wring a little truth out of the question that 99% of us a) don’t know the answer to, and b) seem to be having a huge amount of difficulty with at the moment. I realize that we are diving right into things, but let’s go for it and see what happens if we start talking about relationships. Anyone out there who happens to occupy the 1% of the relationship pie that has it all figured out doesn’t need to read this; those of us who are still wounded, and/or deluded by whatever love has done to us are advised to proceed with caution, because even I am not sure where we are going from here.
“Existence is relationship; to be is to be related. Relationship is society.” -Krishnamurti
The above quote showed up on the screen on a day when I asked the universe to tell me what I needed to know. That it brought up the whole subject of relationships reminded me that lately, that particular issue has been keeping me awake at night, wondering why relative to what all of us were led to believe, my experience of love bears no resemblance to the Fairy Tale. After 63 years of trying to fit a round peg into a square hole, teetering on the brink of cynicism, the Holy Grail of marriage and any dream of a ‘perfect union’ now seem like nothing more than a huge lie that someone invented just to drive us nuts. And the part of me that no longer has any reason to keep trying to replicate the myth was ‘born again‘ on the day that this quote fell into my lap; because if ‘existence is relationship’, if ‘to be is to be related’ it means that all of us have the capacity to get it right.
The more I think about this all inclusive view of things, the more I see how much it has screwed us up to be saddled with the notion that the only way to experience relationship is to hook up with one other human being and stay with them forever; talk about a ‘life sentence‘. In a realm where all of our relationships are temporary, the concept doesn’t even make sense. And while I don’t discount the existence of soul mates and twin flames, the statistics make it plain that these types of connections are extremely rare. Based on forty years of astrological counseling I would say that 1% of my clients have been able follow the standard prescription for relating and get it to work – the other 99% have had no success whatsoever – and what this tells me is that if the relationship paradigm as the culture defines it for us is only working for 1% of the people, it isn’t working for anyone.
So why do we insist on perpetuating the myth? We perpetuate the myth because we believe in it and because we don’t think long enough to know any better; it’s as simple as that. It’s safe to say that everyone in the civilized world lives with the idea that being in that type of relationship is what it takes to make everything happier, better, and more secure. While this can and sometimes does happen, more often than not falling in love becomes the source of too much pain to make anyone in their right mind want to keep searching for it. If our pictures of perfect union limit us, in adhering to them we lose any sense that there just might be more to it than this.
So when the poster child for the Aquarian Age comes along to inform us that ‘existence is relating’, wondering whether or not ‘there’s more to it’, becomes a moot point. That we are intrinsically and inextricably related to everything, including ourselves, suggests that love was, is, and never will be, in short supply; we seem to be made of it – and I suspect that it is our connection to the love that lives within our own hearts that matters more than anything. For those of us who struggle with any apparent lack of affection, or any sense that we alone are unworthy of love, it feels good to know that what we have always longed for lives in us – and it makes me wonder why we are so stuck on the idea that, that longing can only be met by someone else.
Krishnamurti’s quote goes on to say that any relationship based on ‘need’ and/or ‘use’ is not based on love and leads to nothing but violence.
“Existence is relationship; to be is to be related. Relationship is society. The structure of our present society, being based on mutual use, brings about violence, destruction, and misery. As long as we psychologically need and use each other, there can be no relationship. Relationship is communion; and how can there be communion if there is exploitation? Exploitation implies fear, and fear inevitably leads to all kinds of illusions and misery. Conflict exists only in exploitation and not in relationship. Conflict, opposition, enmity, exists between us when there is the use of another as a means of pleasure, of achievement. This conflict obviously cannot be resolved by using it as a means to a self projected goal; and all ideals, all Utopias are self projected. To see this is essential, for then we shall experience the truth, that conflict in any form destroys relationship, understanding. There is understanding only when the mind is quiet; and the mind is not quiet when it is held in any ideology, dogma, or belief or when it is bound to the pattern of its own experience or memories.” -Krishnamurti: “Commentaries on Living; Second Series” – p. 31
Interesting; I don’t know about you but if there is any truth to what he is saying, it certainly explains a lot about why my relationships wound up in the toilet. Don’t worry; I am not here to whine about my love life – but I will tell you that on the day that Krishnamurti’s quote turned out to be what I needed to know, I had already been thinking long and hard about love, connection, and the whole mystery of relationships. What got distilled out of this mind bending was the sense that to ‘Be in love’, and to ‘relate from the heart‘ is a state of Being; it is where we come from. And the thread of remembrance that knows this, also understands that if we are made of the very thing we long for, we are ‘In love’ all of the time.
So why do we go nuts looking elsewhere for it?
It wasn’t until I decided to write about all of this that I realized that this love that we are made of doesn’t require anything other than it self to feel whole and fulfilled. When we are in it, everything in our inner and outer reality resonates at exactly the same frequency. And what comes out of this ‘Beingness‘ evokes nothing but love in response. Is this what Krishnamurti means when he says, ‘To be is to be related’?
Between my own stuff and the stuff that my friends and clients have shared with me over the years, I could tell you endless stories about the sorrows that the old paradigm prescription for relating has birthed. Every single one of these sagas is a tale of ‘exploitation’ and ‘use‘ – and in no instance do any of these stories suggest that the teller knows they are made of love and therefore, ‘in love‘, and related to everything. If only someone was kind enough to tell us these things life would be so much easier and happier. I don’t want to give Mr. Krishnamurti more credit than he deserves, and I certainly don’t want to upset anyone who is happily cocooned in a relationship, but I think he’s got a handle on something here – what do you think?
Cal Garrison with The Shift Doctors (Tracy Latz, M.D. & Marion Ross, Ph.D.)
***Find out more about Cal, how to contact her, and read some of her other metaphysical articles at www.spiritofmaat.com
***To learn more about “The Shift Doctors”, their books, videos & meditation CD’s visit www.shiftyourlife.com **The Shift Doctors (Tracy Latz, M.D. & Marion Ross, Ph.D.) are available for keynote talks, classes, events or for seminars (1/2 day or up to 2 day) on personal transformation, team-building, motivation, anger management, intuitive development, or collaboration for private groups, conferences, corporations or corporate events. Contact them at firstname.lastname@example.org or find out more about them at www.shiftyourlife.com .