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I’m Dr. Marion Ross and I’m Dr. Tracy Latz from shiftyourlife.com
Welcome back! “Entrepreneurial Alignment” is a book we wrote a few years ago. We’ve integrated some of the material from that into this presentation. That book is for anyone who’s an entrepreneur, wants to start a business, wants to be in alignment with their goals and to learn how to overcome self-sabotage before they get started.
We’ve written five books. We have a major website shiftyourlife.com. We have over a hundred videos on Shift Your Life TV on YouTube. that is a wealth of information and has videos demonstrating different exercises described here.
Fear of failure starts young, as early as two or three. If we get yelled at by somebody and create a faulty thought or belief within our self that “I’m going to be a screw up. I’m going to fail.” You can have a fear of failure because you’re the older sister when your brother was born.
Who hasn’t felt this fear? What causes an unrealistic fear of failure? We learn through our experiences and the actions of others in our environment that failure is unacceptable. You must do better under pressures from others to succeed or warnings of what’s going to happen if we fail.
It causes a lot of negative outcomes. It is very overwhelming for us. Eventually, fear becomes one of our habits. We stop trying to reach beyond our comfort zone because we can’t fail, right? What we believe becomes more important than what actually happens. It’s happening outside of us.
There are common beliefs about failure that can prevent us from taking risks. Things like “others will judge me for screwing up or for not doing what they thought was right”. Or “I saw Jurassic Park, and I know it’s going to happen if I don’t do it. My worth as a person is dependent upon my performance. If I don’t perform, the dinosaurs are going to eat me.”
“Failing in a new business or activity is proof of my incompetence. Love from others is dependent upon success and accomplishment. Anything less than perfection is failure.” How many people do you know just feel like they have to be perfect?
When perfection is an on-going expectation, overwhelming anxiety develops. Beliefs that “I’m not going to write this perfectly. Or I’m not going to cook this perfectly. Or I’m going to screw up on this test or on this project for my boss.” So they freeze. They get everything done late or not at all. It’s the three P’s.
Tips and tools for overcoming the fear of failure.
- Insight is of utmost importance. Make a list of your fears. Once you’ve given a fear a face or a name and face it directly, it will have less power over you. Put eyes on those fears. Instead of saying, “I don’t know why, I’m just afraid.” Stop! Actually sit yourself down and make a list of what it is that makes that so scary.
2. The mindfulness Facing Your Fear Exercise is great. It helps you visualize those fears you have. Once you put eyes on it, you close your eyes, you rank it. If your fear, let’s say is a fear of flying is a 6, ramp it up to a 10. Make it as big as the fear of separation. Whatever it is, make that emotion so overwhelming. You can just keep ramping it up for a few minutes. Once you find out that it’s not going to kill you, it starts diminishing.
Here’s one you can do with the same thing where, again, you think of what that great fear is. Then imagine that the New York Times puts it on their front page. Marion, actually did this. Whatever that fear is, allow yourself to imagine that fully through. What would happen then? Then what would happen? Then what would happen? Play the whole thing out in your head and see where it goes. I’ll still be alive, even though I did that.
3. You can get over any kind of emotion. It’s just energy and it’s just perspective. The way you look at it is what counts. The Mountain Meditation that Marion took you through on our last hack not only is powerful and will help you feel your inner strength and power, it also can transform this sense of “I’m going to be inadequate and I’m going to fail.” It helps you just sort of realize “I can do anything I set my mind to.”
4. What we showed you in the last hack, Connecting Heaven and Earth, is very good for grounding. It’s a great grounding exercise. It’s also great for connecting with everything that is. So give that one a try when you’re feeling really fearful. I’m going to teach you another one. It’s called Connecting Central and Governing Meridian.
Governing Meridian starts at the small of your back at your butt. It goes up around your head and ends here, at the roof of your mouth. Your Central Meridian starts at the top of the pubic bone and ends here, roof of mouth.
What you want to do is connect the two, so your energy is circulating. You really can’t be very afraid, or timid, or feeling powerless and fearful when you’re connected. But you need to connect yourself. It’s a very simple exercise.
You stick your middle finger in your navel and you pull up. You stick your other middle finger at your third eye push in and pull up. Close your eyes. Breathe for about a minute, a minute and a half. You’ll notice after a while you’re going to yawn. Something is going to happen. Your energy will shift. And that’s the moment you’re connected. It feels really good. So your energy circulates throughout your whole body. Otherwise, we can tend to be split.
Our energies are working from the top half and from the bottom half. The top and the bottom half aren’t connected. This is a very helpful exercise from traditional Chinese medicine. When you use that Connecting Heaven and Earth, you feel connected to Earth, to heaven, to humans all at once.
With that connectedness to everything, then you connect the energies within yourself. It can help enhance all of your Law of Attraction intentions because you begin to be more centered. Then you couple that with getting into your heart, which we went over in earlier portions of this Hack Lesson for Abundance.
It’s very hard to become Abundant when you’re scattered. So you need to get your energies to be cohesive. We actually have a lot of videos, over a hundred, on Shift Your Life TV, which show you how to do that. I would suggest that you visit if you’re interested. The fear of success is even more prevalent than the fear of failure. Surprisingly enough.
The fear of success is really a fear of the consequences of success. You know things like, “what will my family think of me if I succeed? They’re going to expect more of me.” If you’re a golfer: “What if you bring your handicap down 10 points? You’re not going to have the same group to golf with. They’re going to hate you”. You go on a diet, you lose 50 lbs. Your whole family is fat. Your friends are fat. They look at you and say, “Oh.” They could be jealous.I won’t feel like I have things in commons with them.”
These are all stories we tell ourselves. They’re not necessarily true. What this leads to is an avoidance issue. We begin to be sort of split. I want this but I’m afraid of this. I want to do this. If I do follow this path of what I say, is my intention to follow? What if I succeed? I’m not sure I want to? You can see where this push-pull would really affect the bow that you’re pulling back in the Bow and Arrow Theory of Creation of Abundance that we talked about earlier.
So the only smart thing to do is transform a fear into a concern, a concern that can be solved. You want to face fears head-on. Learn to recognize fear. Identify fears instead of leaving them undefined. Become aware of the tools and support that you can have around you to help overcome fear.
Put eyes on those fears. You just don’t let them be amorphous. Find out what they are. Success involves change. That can feel like responsibility. It can also be pretty scary. Most people are pretty afraid of any kind of change. Change doesn’t have to be change for the worst. Responsibility—everyone thinks that feels so heavy. What that actually means is responding to your abilities, which is powerful.
So ask, “What will happen if I succeed?” So you can put a face on your fear. Again, we’re facing our fears, which is very important. If you’re feeling something, you don’t know what it is you’re feeling. It’s making you anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, and crazy.
There’s going to be no change. There’s going to be no improvement until you figure out what it is. So use these tools to do that. If you really want Abundance, these are things you need to overcome. Deal with the issues that come up for you. When you ask that question, “What will happen if I succeed?“
Write them down. Write each issue down. Answer each to the best of your ability at the time. If you need to, use that Qigong Emotional Release if the fear comes up for you.
Do it from the present moment because if you have a lot of anticipatory anxiety, like my fear of public speaking, it’s about what’s going to happen in the future. You’re afraid you’re going to repeat something that happened in the past many times. You’re living in yesterday. There’s no chance to change. Because you’re not making new choices from a new mindset. You actually have to learn to change your mindset. That’s what we’re going to do here.
Universal Wisdom: How do you tap into Universal Wisdom? What is Universal Wisdom? Universal Wisdom is going within and hearing that inner still small voice, being Mindful, being able to see the big picture of any situation. You mean not being stuck in the minutiae of everything. Having a go. Chewing on a bone like a dog. That’s right.
In our intensive Shift Your Life courses (both online and live nationally and internationally) and in our books, we help you make certain that once you have transformed all of your fears and lower base or emotions. (We actually give you a meditation in our books and courses). Where do you have your own Temple of Wisdom personally? That you can go with in and ask any question you want. You receive an answer. It’s not scary.
Once you understand that everything happens for a reason. You start looking at the big picture and change your perspective. You’re no longer a victim. Every situation is helping you with understanding who you are and who you aren’t. If we don’t understand this. We will likely have scenarios continue to come up in our lives. In front of our face. This is the Law of Attraction. If we don’t get it, it’s not because we’re being punished, but because we are so loved unconditionally.
Our own higher self, our own True Essence will help work with the universe, to bring things to us that mirror our own subconscious or conscious thoughts that are holding us back. Because our True Essence wants nothing but for us to be unlimited. To challenge and remove anything that impedes us from stepping fully into our purpose.
The life we’re living, the life we see outside of us is a reflection of what’s going on within us. So if we’re not changing what’s going on within us. Nothing’s going to change outside of us.
So what keeps us from accessing Universal Wisdom?
Overwhelming emotions. During a crisis or situation in our life that keeps us from having any kind of clarity like a divorce. We can’t see the forest for the trees when that happens. We need to transform anger, resentment, fear and heartbreak over the issue to allow us. To be in our heart. We have to be quiet and still enough to hear the still small voice.
We have to get rid of the chatter, or the teacher never appears. Again we give tools at a deeper level in “Bye-Bye Self-Sabotage!” as well as in “Entrepreneurial Alignment”, in our courses, and on our membership site.
Join us in a class (live or online) if you’d like to take your teaching and learning deeper. Be engaged in a forum where you actually have a tribe.
Thanks for watching, and we look forward to seeing you for the next Hack – Overcoming Stress.